Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
