found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
