He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm getting married
To pizza
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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