I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
