guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
