i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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