Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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