I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
