Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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