Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
