i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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