i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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