I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
