Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
