watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
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