I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
