jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
