i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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