somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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