Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
