I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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