I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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