The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Someone signed my nipple.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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