hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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