Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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