I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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