I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize