Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
