: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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