Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just want nice things and good sex
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
