His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
