Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
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What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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