You can't special order awesome
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
