How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
