Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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