Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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