is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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