just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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