oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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