well you can't waste a boner
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
