Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
