her vagine was all disorganized.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
