We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
