real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
