she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
