we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
