Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
