2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
