I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize