guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
