If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
