census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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