Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
