that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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