Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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