We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
