My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
