well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The adults are the big ones right?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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