if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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