After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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